Nobody Believes In Me Anymore

I went to sleep last night - and I fell in the mattress crack

And I woke up in the morning and I had an aching back

Glory, Glory Hallaluyah!

Larry Miller Knows How To Do Ya!

“ - - - Breakfast with Scitzos – Take Two”    I just thought I’d throw that in.  You know Keith Green did that song “Nobody Believes in Me Any More”.  I’ve been reading a lot of that Lucifer Diary thing that Judy gave me yesterday.  You learn more about the mind set of the author than you’ll ever learn about Satan in books like this because as I have said before- in these “Satan” writings Christians do - - Satan seems to be the only person who practices perfect Christian theology and nobody else knows anything.  I was thinking how Judy said on the way down yesterday that she was kind of reminded of My prophecy book by this one because it’s kind of a “History of the World” type thing.  But if she thought my book was a little short on the grace of God- - well my book is a varitable “Family Buffet” snorgesborg is spirituality and redemption and Christian Salvation, compared to this book which is loveleess and humorless, and the protagonist obviously has a very low opinion of the human race.  It begins in the Garden of Eden where if Lucifer had used the same approach to me as he does in the book I would go to my wife and say “Laura, you can’t believe it but one of these animal forms in this garden actually Talks - - in words like we do.  But there is no sense of “communal connection” that we have with the animals.  This guy’s mind is a total wall.  I can’t Read him at all.  And he’s saying stuff like he knows more than we do, and even perports to know more than God.  Can you believe that?”   But I knew the book was completely bogus later on with the story of the Tower of Babel.  The Exorcist has nothing on this story.  In that movie a little girl is speaking at ten languages at once and we all said “it’s because she is demon possessed” but here Satan senses “a disturbance in the Force Field” or something and he can feel the Enemy’s creeping presence.  But these humans are all too dense and stupid to sense it.  They are going about their work with their pack mules and their building materials as though nothing is changed.  But then I noticed that they were having trouble relating essential things in going about their work and misunderstandings and arguments and strife were breaking out- - and it dawned on me that they could no longer physically understand each other.  God is a genious because he knows I don’t know any of these new languages that have descended upon them and so I can’t coordinate my troops for counter measures”.  It goes on from there to describe their abandoning their work and coming down.  But then storm clouds appear from out of nowhere and thig gigantic lightning bolt strikes the tower like some Cosmic 9 – 11 and the whole thing is destroyed and debris is shooting up into the sky and coming back raining down on the people as they flee, now in panic”.    My favorite chapter in the book is the one called “Fifty Wyons and a Puddy Tat”.  Not really.  But again Satan shows utter contempt for man’s desire for material goods.  And he condemns the Babylonian King’s drunkedness, and he is telling his demons that if Babylon falls it could be the worst thing that would ever happen.  Because the Pursians would be good for the Jewish people because they are monotheists.  Who would have guessed?  Satan is really a Zoroastrian!  I’m looking for the first hint where Satan is criticizing sex between a man and a woman.  Then we would know at last- - - Satan is just another faggot.  But it’s funny how Satan first has to work as possessing other animals like serpents but after a year of practice he finally mastered this ability.  But in order to posess another body he had to disabuse his mind of the Cosmic Truths he was born with.  And Satan says that “If one of us ever appeared - - as we are on the Other Side - - in the Earth realm it would be instant curtains for us because our whole intent would be instantly revealed to mankind and they would know Everything.   So now it’s Satan and not God who is withholding knowledge of the other world.  It goes on to talk about Jesus and John the Baptist and there was something about John on the Isle of Patmos in there in AD 95.  And Satan found the presence of Albert Einstein very upsetting as is letters on a chalk board E = MC squared would spell instant doom for Mankind.  So now Satan is depressed when Man learns the secrets of the Atom.  The book is downright confusing especially when it says “Mankind engages in too many religious wars.  Religious wars are bad for mankind because they promite strife and Intollerence”.  So I’m wondering does the author want us NOT to believe this or TO believe this?  Since the book was written in 2003 it knows nothing of Obama so he is not any lightning rod of concept like in the 2016 movie.  Satan appears really bothered in 1984 when he spreads the word that the Soviet Union will fall “in five years or in ten at the most”.  I’m wondering why the Fall of the Soviet Union is so upsetting to Satan because it robs the right wing politicians one more thing to complain about and get paranoid over.  There are no entries in the book at all during the Clinton administration.   I’m not sure what to make of that.  Does the author Like Clinton?  But then when it talks about Gulf War II in 2003 - - there is talk of the perils of “A peace imposed on the Mideast that hamstrings all of the nations and that nobody wants”.   I guess I’d like a definition of “Nobody”.  There is talk of the perils of one world government and human cooperation - - that I just don’t get.  Why does it bother Satan that humans cooperate?  Strangely - - just as we were signing in I turned to Judy and was about to admit to her “You know I was wrong about the Moslem Brotherhood.  I now see that you were right in being suspicious of all that “Arab Spring’ nonsense.  Clearly the statement released by the Obama administration this morning was correct.  The United States would sacrifice democracy for a Stable Nation that we could actually work with.”   And Judy turns around and in a complete reversal of what she told me just one year ago she now says that democracy in the Mideast is a great thing- - and that no dictatorship is good.  I mentioned the 1.6 Billion to Egypt as we were walking down the hall to Mom’s room and Judy goes on this rant about how the US can’t afford another penny to anybody now because we are broke.  The book ends with stuff about San Francisco- - and again Satan is overcome with a feeling of utter Doom before the Battle of Armageddon ever starts.  But Lucifer can feel rumblings in the ground and declares that his own destruction is just around the corner.  And then the end of the book has the angel Gabriel intervene and write in Lucifer’s diary- finishing it off- - speaking of events that are yet to come” and that’s how the book ends.   Of course as you know with my own book “God’s Winepress” the only other overt help I got with it was from Henry- - who helped out with the graphics on the cover.  But the book is quite a bit altered from the way it was originally conceived in early summer.  The basic idea Me and Mark had was "Sure the world is going to blow itself up or strangle from pollution but there are certain traits and weakness in the human race.  And if we can find and isolate those weaknesses, perhaps we can delay if not entirely prevent these dire things from coming to pass so soon.  You know- - there is an adage I'd like to coin "If you have to betray a friend and even your own conscience- - in some vain effort to please a distant God - - you shall not succeed."  Of course just as that Cousin Earl shadow hangs over my tale of the Protigal Son in mid 1991 with all of the sex orgies and pornography production - - so the shadow of Roger Waters looms over my book because I had just bought “The Wall” album (admittedly a bit late to the party) and stuff about “Walls” is frequently referred to.   Of course some ideas of Mark Campbell still remain.  Like the notion of betraying and selling out a friend.  I only wish I'd had the stones to quote the line from that Bob Dylan song "I believe the whole wide world is one big prison yard - some of us are Prisoners and some of us are guards".    You sell out a friend to please “The Man” or else the Prison Authorities or the Kremlin - - or in my case- - to please the non existant crouds of Born Again Christians clamoring to buy my book.  It is what I have referred to as the Obamatazation of my book.  That is- - in an endeavor for exceptance I have severly watered down our own convictions.   The writer of this Lucifer Diary is from England and is evidently a Ph D or something.  Go figure.  The dialog in this book is so bad- - - even as long at 35 years ago I had outgrown some of the verbal traps the writer falls into.  He seems to get lost in his own words- - and manages to so confuse us that whatever point there ever was to the thing is utterly lost.

I was just looking at the TV screen about all of those fireworks that exploded while right there on the ground firing rockets right into the crowds and people were running in panic.   There is a buyer’s panic in the Real Estate markets because thirty year mortgages have gone up a full percentage point from aboujt 3.3% to 4.4% and that’s the highest rates have been in years and years.  Of course if you really don’t want to spend all that money you can get a shorter term loan like a 15 or 20 year mortgage because short of an inverted interest rate curve, which we only have at the tops of inflation rate runs, usually longer term loans have higher rates.  However of course even at the same rate you’d end up paying out a lot less money, as my Mortgage BASIC program will quickly tell you.  Judy asked about common stocks as we were headed up  El Toro and I repeated that I think this economy and the stock markets still have a lot of gas left in them.  In a sugar coated way I indicated to her that if she weren’t such an anti Obama pessimist she would have invested in stocks four years ago and been a lot richer now.  But instead I couched it in terms of “People back then didn’t have a lot of money to invest like they do now, but those who did, got rich”. 

Highlights from Yesterday's outing:   They were of course dinking around with the floors and I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to get out of the building.  I left here just after ten fifteen.  I was successful in my quest to not turn the day into a political Donnybrook.  As we were driving up El Toro Judy did say that “I haven’t met a doctor who isn’t dreading the implementation of Obama Care”.   She called the cops on some Chicano lighting off bottle rockets in heavy street traffic.   Also while coming up El Toro Judy indicated that rates of blood pressure of 120 over 80 were unrealistic for doctors to expect of older people and these numbers are more typical of teenagers.  Gosh - - remind me to put the condom in my wallet right now.  Both Pete and I admitted to having a lot of allergy problems ans as we gazed out over the skies- we saw a whole lot of smog.  We signed in.  The physical look of the grounds has not changed in four years.  It struck me that Mom is looking more youthful and vibrant.  You can see it in her face, and even her hair isn’t as gray.  She’s also managed to lose a little weight.  Mom states that her blood pressure formerly 170 dropped to 150 to the 140’s to the 130’s and now is at 128.  I don’t know how she did it but if she could bottle it she’d be a rich woman.  The Consumer Reports magazines she saves for Alan - - they were cramming so MANY electronic devices in there I suspect they sacrificed detail of data.  Alan saves old Consumers Magazines because you’ll never know when you need to look up a product in an old one.  Alan and Marie are off on their first motorcycle trip together- - since her accident.  But now Marie just rides as a passenger because she’s still not confident (or strong?) enough to ride a bike all the way on her own.  They seem to like to visit North Carolina a lot.  This isn’t the time of year for it.  I weighed myself and was 154 before lunch and over 157 after lunch- - when I nudged the thing to exactly zero.  I don’t recall us being in the apartment that long before lunch- - but we ended up not getting our main plates till about twelve after noon.  That’s a long wait for this place.  I had cheese cake with really good strawberry sauce for desert.  We took the stairs up with me leading the way.  Then we talked about all of these Batchelor and Batchelorette shows, and Mom talked about their marriage- - and Pete peppered her with questions that weren’t exactly up to the “Dr. Laura” standard.   She lamented a little about Aunt Jo, and talked about that place in Fullerton they had their Income Taxes done right up to the year AFTER Dad died.  It was not quite 2:25 when we left taking the south way around the semi-circle.  I did not bring my camera.  It took us a full fifteen minutes to get to the Santa Ana Freeway which is pretty trippy.  But we stopped at Fashion Square, or whatever it’s called now - - Main Place.  Judy had lent me this novel called “The Lucifer Diaries” and I took the opportunity to read a good chunk of it while in the underground parking lot while Judy went into the store to exchange merchandise.  First Lucifer counts off in days in the Garden and it wasn’t till day 440 or something - - over a year- - he was able to bring Adam and Eve down.  The other years are counted off in sequence, much as the Jewish calendar does it.  She took twenty minutes.  I was reading about Adam and Eve in the Garden and there are a few interesting psychological insights in that Satan had to “figure out” just how to tempt Adam and Eve.

Stu Sutcliffe said that it was none other than John Bonnum that played drums on their version of "The God Who Failed", which was recorded in early 1995 but has the same lead singer who did "Sad But True" in January of 1994.  Stu said that he wanted Keith Relf to play guitar on that track but Keith said "He would be tied up for a few days".  I hope not literally.  Stu says he even considered having Me play guitar on that track.  Actually it's one song that would be within my capabilities.  Of course the song is distinct in that it begins with drumming - - and there is no bass guitar at all on the song- - by express order of Stu Sutcliffe.   In case you are wondering the song lyrics on both renditions are identical to the original.   Stu was the first to tell me that that Lucifer book was a lot of B S before I had come to the conclusion myself.  He also reminded me yesterday afternoon that of course the "Federation Take' on Bible History is rather altered, from what seems to be directly recorded in the Bible.