Earth - The Privileged Planet

Last night I met Glen on the south balcony and I was enjoying the Christmas lights and the fading twilight in the sky.  I told him about my plans to go with Paul and even tentatively invited him along.  But I got to having second thoughts about it and didn’t follow up.  I was afraid Paul might want to talk over “personal matters” like my smoking or finances, or else go into details about Mom’s health where Glen’s presence would inhibit him.  As it turned out Paul said “Oh, you should have brought him along”.  I went to Glen’s room but told him due to shortage I could only give him two cigarettes today and more on Saturday.  Glen gave me a very generous amount of instant coffee- - good for a strong, large cup to keep me awake.  I got my medication from Christian after six.  Paul at first wanted me to look at his camera menu for editing videos, but Judy said we should just get on with the movie.  I asked Paul if he had anything to eat and he gave me three kinds of crackers in a bowl.  Two of them were exotic seseme seed or other type.  Paul gave me a big glass of herbal tea that I sipped slowly.  I hadn’t seen this movie and learned a lot of new stuff from it.  It’s not just that earth is suited for supporting life, but as if God Himself positioned planet earth to give us the best view for studying the Universe as a whole, in all aspects.  There was talk about eclipses and now these luminous gasses that were spectrally analyzed in 1870 led to the discovery of Helium and also the whole field of spectral analysis of gasses.  The 1919 ecclipse proving the General Theory of relativity was mentioned.  There was the original Hubble telescope guy, who first “discovered” multiple galaxies in 1924 at Mt Wilson, nearby.  There was talk on how the moon gyroscopically stabilized the earth’s orbit using logic I didn’t understand.  There was talk on how we need that strong tidal action to mix up the warm and cold waters and stabilize the climate.  There was talk about the thickness of the tectonic plates needing to be within a certain range and for “The iron in the earth to be properly distributed to stabilize the magnetic field.  Of course we need that magnetic field to keep out harmful radiation.  Sometimes they engaged in overkill, ignoring the fact for instance that radiant heat is infrared, or that life needs a certain amount of ultraviolet radiation, including man.  There was talk on how so many gasses are not clear but cloudy, which would block man’s view of the heavens.  I also complained to Paul and Judy that the “five percent rule” on the possible limits of earth’s orbit around the sun was unnecessarily narrow, and that the commentator exagurated what would necessarily happen.  There was also talk about the earth’s position in the Milky Way galaxy.  If we were too close to the center the radiation from all the quasars and things would kill us, and if we were too far out on a spiral arm that there wouldn’t be enough gravity to form the heavy elements necessary for life.  There was talk about the structure of the Carbon atom, and I would have been willing to elaborate with some 3 D descriptions if Paul and Judy were interested.  Having four free electrons Carbon mixes with an unusually large number of elements in inventive ways.  However they started doing all of these mathematical odds.  At this time Bones made me aware of his presence.  He said “Well if that’s the case what about all of us”.  He was by himself but referring to all the people I write about associated with the “Other side”.  I said ‘I don’t know’.   Bones reminded me of causal groups where you can’t use mathematical pure odds to predict probabilities.  For instance if twenty percent of the people carry back packs, and twenty percent of the people attend college at least part time, it would not be reasonable to assume that only FOUR percent of the people both attend college and own back packs.  This is because certain causal things are associated with other causal things.  It’s a logical error that Chuck Smith was famous for making, and Bones was happy to point out.  There was a line in the movie I did Not discuss with Bones, however, pertaining to multiple universes.  Of course Bones was not quite the inventor of the theory of cosmology I hold- - with multiple parallel universes going out in all directions.  However the way the video stated it “There could be an endless throw of the dice.  If multiplied Billions of chances for life prove insufficient, you can get an infinite “roll of the dice” with unlimited creation of multiple Universes.  Both the video and the magazine were in error on the subject of Black Holes and I pointed this right off to Paul.  Black holes are not like pulling the stopper out of a sink, and all of the water gets sucked out.  You can’t just “stumble into” a Black Hole or get “snuck up on” by one.  Because if the light can’t reach you, the gravity can’t reach you, and according to Einstein’s special theory of relativity not over the SPACE can reach you!  In other words the space has become sequestered.  And I told Paul that the Black Hole has to be in its own universe.  Paul didn’t respond and I’m not sure if he got the implication.  We went through a number of the “questions” afterwards.   This whole series of videos has a whole list of questions you can go and fish through and pick the areas you want elaboration on.  Then Judy showed me on her computer all of the forms and lists the government has her keep, and all of the taxes she has to pay.  This involves Excel.  It was about a quarter of nine when we left.

That movie was called “The Privileged Planet”.  They open the video right off by talking about the system of Ptolomy that the Greeks had since the first century or before where they come out and admit that the earth is round, but also that it is at the center of the Universe.  Now however they go after Capernicus because he said that the earth was not a “Priveleged planet” in that it wasn’t at “The Center” of the Universe.  The video goes on to discuss the so called “logical error” that modern scientists fall into called mundaneism or whatever saying that our presence in this universe is not divine providence but very ordenery and it’s just man’s ego that believes we are otherwise.  I got to thinking “What if they wrote a big, fat book called “The White Race – the Saga of a Privileged People”.   I would be suspicious of any book with that title.  The film does go to lengths to say that their inference in an all powerful Intelligence, is based on pure Logic and not as a part of some religious doctrine.  However if there IS a commonality of belief of people I have met on the “other side” is pluralism and nobody is any more “special” or “better” than anyone else.  They admit this in their calmer, more thoughtful moments, anyhow.   So it’s kind of like some kind of gigantic chessboard with multiple players.  Bones had been watching this video a while before he flagged my attention he was present.  While it certainly is a “Possability” that some Mind or Intelligence could be jimmying the odds so to speak,  I would first want to know all those police things such as means, motive, and opportunity.  I would at least want to have some idea of a “compelling motive” that would drive such an Intelligence to intervene on my behalf.  If one were to use this logic for instance, all the claims by the ZAC would be ipso facto True - - because, after all “There are so many coincidences”.  But I’ve also learned that - - one shouldn’t get “too full of himself”.  Because in obedience to the Neil Savedra doctrine on temptation,  I think Pride and Egoism are among the strongest of human temptation, and like Black Holes are said in common lore to be “You want to steer as far away from them as possible.”  It’s funny that when Joan of Arc “heard the voices” people all thought she was crazy even when those voices proved themselves in battle victories.  Today an Evangelist gets on stage and talks about things “The Lord has been saying to Me lately” and we don’t question it.  Why is that?  When you see a “Truth” in an official publication such as a magazine, Paul lends more credence to it.  Paul gave me that National Geographic Magazine with the article on Black Holes.  But alas their “gravity diagram” is inaccurate because Black Holes are not a PART of this universe, and Einstein’s writings do not allow for any “Event Horizons” as the Magazine makes a big thing out of, and which I used to believe myself (for decades) pertaining to Black Holes.   In “It’s a Wonderful Life” there is Monday Morning quarterbacking about “Plastics” and how “I’m letting you get in on the ground floor”.  But what if the whole theory had gone bust, and people discovered that plastics were not economical or the business world just had no use for them.  What would become of your investment then?   How many investments is “The Shark Tank”  offered a chance to “get in on the ground floor” and turn it down?   It was Bob Dylan who wrote long ago that “People want you to think they’re the one, who can do what’s never been done, win what’s never been won - - - meanwhile life goes on all around you.   So maybe I don’t get in on quite the “ground floor”.  I’m not the first to establish communication with the “Other Side”.  I’m perfectly happy to settle for second or third.

I arrived home and the door was already locked, but Christian let me in.  There wasn’t much doing on TV so it was a good night to be out.  There was that love scene in Dona Reeds house where Jimmy Stewart grabs her and kisses her passionately.  We watched something at nine but I don’t remember what.  I didn’t get up till a quarter after six.  I smoked my last cigarette to my name as it was getting light.  I consider it a Christmas miracle that the liquor store was open significantly before seven and I was able to get a dollar cup of coffee.  It was my last dollar.  I was discussing the movie with Glen and Nancy Bell out on the back bench.  I kind of half apologized to Glen for not more definitively inviting him along.  We had corn flakes followed by scrambled eggs, hashed browns and toast and butter and jelly.  I got a second hashed brown.  I turned on Christmas music listening either to KOST or to KRTH.  But the selection wasn’t that good.  They didn’t play any of the real classics such as “Snow for Christmas” by ELP or “Father Christmas” by the Kinks, or “Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer” or “I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas” or “The 12 Days of Christmas” by the Mushroom Tabernacle Choir.  They did play “Little Drummer Boy” by Bing Crosby and David Bowie”, a song with the endorsement of the ZAC.   Then it was this strange movie on channel 40.  Mary’s father was taken away by Roman guards and killed.  They said that Mary got this “Mother of the Messiah” revelation out of a sense of grief and psychological instability.  “It’s the dream of all Jewish women”, of course.  There was this guy named Judah who quoted from the book of Revelation talking about Jesus coming from the sky on a white house and how vultures would dine on all the carcuses of our enemies.   There was even a trial for Blasphamy and Adultry where Mary almost got stoned, but then Joseph said he would betroth her, but then wanted nothing to do with her after he’d received a double flogging for “Bad morals in the community”.   At some point I went back to listening to Christmas music, but I must stress that the songs were disappointing.   Some stuff like “Last Christmas, I gave you my heart” are way over-played.

The Federation teaching and this video do agree about something.  Sagitarius is one of the three lifeless constelations of the Zodiac (Cancer and Libra are the other two)  And decades ago they spoke in terms of Sagitarius being "congested" and "physically dangerous to be in".  Now we learn from this film and also from the National Geographic Magazine that "Sagitarius A" is the established Black Hole at the center of the Milky Way Galaxy, which I knew nothing about.  Judy Googled the topic and it's been known about since 1998 as an established fact.  I of course maintain that Einstein's calculations do NOT allow for ANY Black Holes.  The Magazine would say that it's simply a matter of Einstein saying "It would be too extreme an event to occur in Nature, too preposterous" without offering any more explanation than that.  The magazine in error claimed Einstein said they WERE "theoretically" possible.  No.  According to Einstein's formulas they are NOT even "theoretically" possible.  We have a disagreement here.  The Magazine also errs in suggesting that a Black Hole's "gravity" extends out beyond the "Event Horizon".  It does not, as pretty much "part of the definition is what a Black Hole is - to begin with".  However the Federation also agrees with the film in saying that "We only have to do with (or associate with) a small portion of the Milky Way Galaxy" (about a hundred thousand light years in length), and notions of "inter galactic travel" is too far fetched- even for these people.  (Selah)  In case you're wondering there was no "crowd of psychic entities around me" this night with Bones.  I have learned that the current policy maker for the "Ministry of Propaganda" may well be on his way out because he's running into too many 'administrative problems" code phrase meaning he's having trouble working with the people he needs to work with.  He's not popular.  I guess this makes the Federation a bit directionless at the moment, and they'll be looking for a new Leader in the "communications" department.

My Christmas Message - 2014

Who’s to say whether I should do a posting today or not?   I’m sure people would much rather be celebrating Christmas joy with their families than reading my remarks.  Of course we do need to think about what it means to be a true Christian.  It’s “Peace on Earth – God will to men” and all of that.  We can always use more of that.  We have to hold out the Hope of that and this season is as good a time as any for doing that.  But as we were told in Church, true Christianity means doing a sacrifice of yourself.  In the Age of Rome they had bread and circuses, and a lot of their “circuses” were at the expense of Christians.  Amidst the gladiator games by convicts, the crowd I’m sure cheered when Christians were being thrown to the lions.  And as Thom Hartman says “Torture in the long run does not work”.   In the case with the Christians it’s not just torture but martyrdom, although on the way to martyrdom I’m sure there was a lot of torture, too.  People are prepared to die for an idea if it’s powerful enough.  Certainly the Leninists and other Russian Communists were willing to pay a high price in the body count- - to insure that their nation stayed true to its Communist doctrinal purity.  Of course we in America had Franklin Roosevelt.  Just as it’s argued that Jesus’ coming was Divine providence, could it not be argued that FDR’s coming was divine providence?  Would you not say that he was the right man for the right time and situation?  Interestingly it can be argued that Roosevelt did what he did in terms of the New Deal and all less because “he just loved poor people” but more to save Capitalism from its own greed, which eventually would destroy it.  There were the fascists on one side and the communists on the other, and FDR had to walk that middle path.   Jesus was billed as “The redeemer of Israel”.  Whether he did that I’ll leave to your particular feeling on the subject.  But I think we can argue that Roosevelt “redeemed” or “saved” capitalism.  Actually the fundamentalists themselves admit the startling fact that “We will never live to see the day that Israel is redeemed by Christ” because it happens after we’re gone, because the Rapture of the Faithful has taken place.  Of course if we follow the Neil Savedra (of KFI) doctrine, of how those in Heaven have no way to know what goes on down here on earth because they are in such a constant of euphoric Joy they wouldn’t care anyhow- - - following this logic- - - since it’s something that happens after you’ve died and have no way to prove it- - from a strictly subjective basis, it almost doesn’t matter whether it happens at all.  Yet we talk about it every Christmas how “Jesus was the born redeemer of Israel”.  Well that’s find for a baby dedication, but what about when the baby is three years old- - or six years old- - or older?   In other words- - what about the REST of Jesus’ life?  Some like Judy say ‘Jesus was born to die” and yet if we use a Dr Phil argument “The only reason why Jesus died is because he made a choice to violate a Jewish law that states that you can’t claim to be the Son of God without mighty powerful proof to back it up”.  I guess the proof - - if any, was insufficient.  So Dr Phil would be talking about “Owning your own actions” and “You only got the consequences of your own actions”.  I know that sounds highly blasphamus.  Well pardon me but we of the laity have been routinely “blamed” (after the Jews themselves) for “crucifying Jesus” and we were told that we owe our “redemption” to him.  It’s funny but I don’t feel “redeemed”.  If I am, I’d like to know just the minute it happened, and what proof of it can be offered.  That is- - how was my Life inexorably altered for the better from that moment on, as opposed to before I got said “redemption”?  I’m not trying to be a jerk or anything.  I’m just looking for an honest answer.

Just now after three Hal Sparks is coming on.  Janet and Paul were both talking about how “It just doesn’t feel like Christmas this year”.   People are psychological beings.  You can say that presents and money don’t matter but it’s the “Spirit of Christmas” that counts.  It’s easier said than done, deep down in the recessions of your soul “In places you don’t talk about, where the sun don’t shine” to quote Jack Nicholson.  It’s not just a question of whether I get any money for Christmas but it’s the whole “disfunctionality” of family relations in general that it weighting me down this holiday season.   This morning I had the Thom Hartman show replay from yesterday, but today’s segment was a rerun.  So I turned it to Buck Sexton on the radio and I’ll get to that in a minute.  Then it was the coffee outing in the courtyard.  We had two cups of coffee and I took one Snickers bar from the candy jar, and then put back the over-sized jaw breaker I’d also picked up, and got a “Twix” instead.  There was some kind of a “free raffle” but my slip only said “Merry Christmas” on it.  We had Shepherd’s pie for lunch, an intact piece of pie with a crust and everything.  Loretta says she likes that.  This guy on KFI has such a strange voice I didn’t know whether it was a man or a woman.  It was a real weirdo anyhow, and he babbled for the whole hour about useless trivia.  I guess it was supposed to get us all in the spirit of Christmas.  The Days of our Lives episode was the most outright depressing Christmas Eve episode I think they’ve ever had.  The whole sex thing between Eve and J J makes less than zero sense.  Sonny got a late night phone call with someone extracting still more money from him when he’s already squeezed to the max.  Maybe the Pope’s midnight service would get me into the Christmas spirit.  Too bad I can’t just zap myself there live.  Pope Francis has been attacking difficult social issues.  I wish him God’s speed, and realize he’s going to need it, because of the immense political pressure at least from the Pat Buchannon Catholics nipping at his heels.

Thom Hartman had an “Ayan Rand Christmas Card collection”.   Of course Hal Sparks reminds us that Paul Ryan is an avid Ayan Rand devotee.  Hal Sparks reminds too that Paul Ryan is a complete hypocrite in other ways and is not morally qualified to even make the classic “boot straps” conservative argument.   Jeb Bush will be cutting into Governor Christie’s financial support from “The Republican establishment”.  They asked Christie if he was going to mellow out his rhetoric any if he runs and he says “Heck no.  This is what I am!”  In terms of the Republican preference polls Mitt Romney is number one, over twenty percent.  Jeb Bush comes in at second choice for President at fifteen percent.  And all of the other conservative jokers you heard about like Rubio and Cruz, are way down from there.  Buck Sexton was in for Rush Limbaugh.  I had been looking forward to perhaps a little Rush Limbaugh Christmas music.  This Buck Sexton guy spews pure hatred.  He’s a classic venomous flame throwing spewer of racial hatred and had virtually no regard for the facts and his grip on reality is tenuous at best.  He claims to be a former government CIA Analyst.  If he’s the type of person our CIA is filled with, I fear for our country.  He throws everything together.  He says the protests over the Ferguson and NYPD police shootings are all tied in with “Occupy Wall Street” and it’s really all the same people going through “mindless zombie motions”.   He claims to have been right on top of all of these protests, so I guess he’s a New York resident.  (I thought he lived in San Diego)  He stressed how knowledgable he was about these protests.  He used an example of “What if the head of the tea party announced that they intended to kill a certain left wing politician, and then a few days later that politician was found killed” and asks “Would not the liberals link the two events together?”  The answer is of course they would.  But there is no real life situation that in any way relates to the scene Buck Sexton just described.   But then - - he drags in ISIS and says that all of these leftist groups - - ISIS, Occupy Wall Street, and the NYPD police death protestors- - are all working together and are orchestrated by the same “Saul Allinsky type tacticts.  And of course Hillary who is running for President - - and Saul Allinsky are good friends”.   I really felt that Ihad been slimed from even hearing all this stuff.  KEIB obviously has no shame in putting such complete garbage on the air.  Of course KEIB as a radio station is 35^th in rating in radio stations, out of a total of 45 or something.  So it’s not like “Everyone in America” is listening to this nut case and somehow roaring their approval.

I happened to think of that Bible verse “a soft answer turneth away wrath”.  That scripture wouldn’t apply very well to President Obama.  He is the recipient of all sorts of vile invective and insult by the Republicans and he virtually never responds negatively to any of it.  Their fierce loathing and anger- resentment- - or him is not diminished one bit.  But a lot of things are not “like they’re supposed to be”.   Sean Hannity said that if we just got out act together and started drilling and extracting shale and fracking all over the place, we could drive the Saudis and OPEC out of business.  Never has there been a completely stupid remark.  The reason is because if the price of oil falls to twenty dollars a barrel, the Saudis and OPEC can still make a profit.  All these pipe dreams of Sean Hannity of promising young people starting out a life time of high wages in a carrier in the oil business- - are drowning in a sea of sludge.   There are those conservatives who warned you to get out of common stocks and into gold and silver.  Now gold is still where it was and the stock market just closed on a new high this Christmas Eve in this year’s “holyday rally”.   So those of you who listened to these right wing alarmists, “How’s that one working out for you?”   We hear endlessly that the reason why the economy is so sluggish is because of “all the new taxes and regulations that Obama has saddled business with”.   Judy complains about “businesses not making money in the first five years” and yet she has been in her Nutrition Product business for twenty years- - so I’m wondering what her excuse is for not making money, if indeed that is the case.  We hear from her endlessly about all of the forms and quarterly reports she has to fill out.   Is she telling me that while Bush was in power none of this was the case?  Buck Sexton on his final call of the show today fielded a caller who was in the military and training Iraqi Air Force pilots.  His words were a little confusing because he says “The Iraqis call the United States - - the friendly side”.  (As opposed to Al Qaeda, I suppose)  But he then slips this barb in at Obama saying “But the President campaigned on a platform of pulling us out of Iraq and so he yanked the rug out from under us leaving these new trainees to languish and eventually to fail”.  I got to thinking about this.  They are being trained, supposedly for three years under President Bush, and two and a half more years under President Obama till summer of 2011 and they’re blaming US because they fell to ISIS troops so quickly?  It’s hard to relate to right wingers because at Thom Hartman puts it, “It’s so rare when you ever hear an honest, consistent argument from these people”.  You just can’t respect them.

How the Bad Guys Get Away With It

There was an intriguing but long article in Washington’s Blog called “How the Bad Guys are able to Get Away with It”.   The first factor was “The Big Lie” and there were enumerated all the follies and foibles of human nature that seemingly compel them to believe that Saddam Hussein was behind the terrorist attacks of 9 – 11.  There was also poll data on the entire length of the Bush Administration.  People who say “President Obama’s poll numbers at forty percent are at record lows for any President” don’t know what they are talking about.  Bush never had so much as ONE poll number ABOVE forty percent since mid 2006 and a lot of that time his poll numbers were in the twenties.  But what’s really strange is that Bush’s approval and disapproval numbers now are almost even at 47 against and 50 for.  But a few months after Bush left office there was almost a universal concencus that Bush had been a horrible President.  I wonder if FOX news had anything to do with that turn around.  Norman Goldman points out that many over the air FOX news presentations borrow word for word from the Cable FOX news.  I didn’t know that Adolph Hitler came right out and admitted he was going to use “The Big Lie” to gain power.  This is by telling such a big whopper so grandiose that people are almost shocked into believing it.  He observes “People themselves will allow for a little lie because they themselves tell this kind, but nothing on so big a scale”.  Goebles is also quoted.  But there are other factors people defend a repressive, yes Fascist government.  They identify with “the system” and see an attack on ‘the system’ as a fight or flight attack on them personally.  They believe that people like Mitt Romney are basically just “one of them”, when they are fundamentally different in their brains.  Then there is a discourse on psychopaths and sociopaths.  Politicians are to a large extent sociopaths.  They seem impervious to any negative impressions they may be making, but forge ahead anyhow driven on by “Manifest destiny” or something.  Where I will take definite exception to the article is in claiming that drugs such as stimulants turn people into socioipaths.  Not so.  Yes people on booze or drugs will take risks and “not count the consequences”.  But first of all sociopaths “Don’t care”.  Consequences are irrelivent to them.  You see this on the soap opera with Teresa Donavin.  Even though she’s completely cornered and defeated in a confrontation - - even THEN she takes the offensive acting as if she’s the only one who’s perfect.  But more importantly, as this writer had said before- - Mitt Romney and people like him are highly “risk averse”.  That’s why they want to change the laws, change the judges, change the politicians in every endeavor.  They are so scared shitless of losing in a fair fight they will move heaven and earth to prevent such a thing.  You didn’t see the John Birchers of fifty years ago being bold at all.  They happily met in their little cloisters and never bothered anybody, because they couldn’t win.  Of course when Mitt Romney says “Americans should trust in God and not in Man” then my response is “Good.  Then I have a good reason for not trusting YOU”.  Norman Goldman says he wants to look into research that says the more educated you are, the less use you have for any Religion in your life.  As I have said in a recent posting “Debaters should make it clear their beef is not with God, but the jackass at the other podium”.

People are wired to believe our leaders’ big statements, even if they are ridiculous:

As Adolph Hitler wrote in Mein Kampf:

All this was inspired by the principle–which is quite true in itself–that in the big lie there is always a certain force of credibility; because the broad masses of a nation are always more easily corrupted in the deeper strata of their emotional nature than consciously or voluntarily; and thus in the primitive simplicity of their minds they more readily fall victims to the big lie than the small lie, since they themselves often tell small lies in little matters but would be ashamed to resort to large-scale falsehoods. It would never come into their heads to fabricate colossal untruths, and they would not believe that others could have the impudence to distort the truth so infamously. Even though the facts which prove this to be so may be brought clearly to their minds, they will still doubt and waver and will continue to think that there may be some other explanation. For the grossly impudent lie always leaves traces behind it, even after it has been nailed down, a fact which is known to all expert liars in this world and to all who conspire together in the art of lying.

Similarly, Hitler’s propaganda minister, Joseph Goebbels, wrote:

That is of course rather painful for those involved. One should not as a rule reveal one’s secrets, since one does not know if and when one may need them again. The essential English leadership secret does not depend on particular intelligence. Rather, it depends on a remarkably stupid thick-headedness. The English follow the principle that when one lies, one should lie big, and stick to it. They keep up their lies, even at the risk of looking ridiculous.

Science has now helped to explain why the big lie is effective.

As I’ve previously pointed out in another context:

Psychologists and sociologists show us that people will rationalize what their leaders are doing, even when it makes no sense ….

Sociologists from four major research institutions investigated why so many Americans believed that Saddam Hussein was behind 9/11, years after it became obvious that Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11.

The researchers found, as described in an article in the journal Sociological Inquiry (and re-printed by Newsweek):

PRESIDENT BUSH'S BIG LIE OF 9 - 11

§  Many Americans felt an urgent need to seek justification for a war already in progress

§  Rather than search rationally for information that either confirms or disconfirms a particular belief, people actually seek out information that confirms what they already believe.

§  “For the most part people completely ignore contrary information.”

§  “The study demonstrates voters’ ability to develop elaborate rationalizations based on faulty information”

§  People get deeply attached to their beliefs, and form emotional attachments that get wrapped up in their personal identity and sense of morality, irrespective of the facts of the matter.

§  “We refer to this as ‘inferred justification, because for these voters, the sheer fact that we were engaged in war led to a post-hoc search for a justification for that war.

§  “People were basically making up justifications for the fact that we were at war”

§  “They wanted to believe in the link [between 9/11 and Iraq] because it helped them make sense of a current reality. So voters’ ability to develop elaborate rationalizations based on faulty information, whether we think that is good or bad for democratic practice, does at least demonstrate an impressive form of creativity.

Sony Pictures will be releasing "The Interview" in some form on Christmas day.  I think the President shamed them into reconsidering their decision to pull the movie completely.  There arises a question as to just HOW North Korea could have hacked Sony Pictures considering how backward they are on their Internet skills, and whether they had Help.  It's that "Help" who we need to track down and deal with.  So it could be that just maybe they were sincere in their plea to "Let us investigate this computer hack together".  If they weren't involved at all, maybe they thought "Just by being Around smart people, we might get smarter.  There is a claim that people look for confirmation of "What they already believe".  There is also a fact that "The less people actually KNOW about a subject the surer they are about it, and also the LESS likely that they will want to learn anything NEW, that might actually contradict what they already "Know".  I am not like this.  You've probably guessed that.  When a Blog fawns all over Putin and Russia and the information doesn't "jive" with the information in the rest of my Universe- - I'm basically going to discount it- - even if by accepting it it would bolster my "Anti Establishment arguments".   We hear things like Winston Churchill proposed the gassing of the Arabs in the Mideast "To put a lively terror into them".  We hear that President Woodrow Wilson launched a contingent of US troops into the Soviet Union in 1918 "To kill communism at its birth".  It would make an utterly intriguing Movie plot for sure.  But I don't think it happened.

Joe Cocker died yesterday of lung cancer at age 70.  I would say his “Classic Hits” include (in the order I heard them on the radio) “Feeling All Right”,  “Delta Lady”, “She Came In Through the Bathroom Window”, “With a Little Help from my Friends”, “The Letter” and “Cry Me a River”.   Just to get in some cosmic news- - last night I learned that "Mal Evans has currently gone off on Holiday" using that British expression.  There was a strong implication that Mal Evans had been demoted, and perhaps less of an implication that now he had so few duties he could afford to take more time off.  The low-down on Joe Cocker is that the Delanians laid claim to his Soul waving a contract around saying they had rights, and barged in among the souls (of a different species) gathered around him.  The next day a Delanian himself stated that "I hadn't heard the whole story" and that the Delanians lost that battle for Joe Cocker's soul.  They had a level two claim on him.  But level two is always trumped by a level three.

This is a quarter to three.  I just went through Money Draw line behind John Powell only to be told that I didn’t have any money in my account from Jennifer.  Tess was at the other desk so if I protested I’d be taking them both on, and it wasn’t worth it.  I just won’t be putting any money in my checking account before Christmas with Terry, who is probably busy visiting relatives or something anyway.  Not going to the bank was wise.  Olivia gave me a whole thing of fried zucchini which I ate, and a banana, which I ate later.  She also gave me an orange and some bottled water, which I still have.  It was a very busy dialog day on Days of our Lives.  Nicole talked her way out of a jam by lying.  Eve was caught in her lie by Kayla and Kim.  And Serina mentioned wanting children to Eric, who she’ll be spending Christmas with.  They hosed down the east section so I went to the west section and greeted Marsha.  I still have money but I know it won’t last till Saturday.  If Mom, likewise, tells me I won’t get any money from her, I’ll be in dire straits after Christmas this year, rather than before.  I have this sword of Damocles feeling now when it comes to Saturday but it’s something I can’t put my finger on.

Key Ferguson Grand Jury Member Proved by FBI to be Lying

This Mc Culloch guy head of the Ferguson grand jury- - may be “suborning” purgery by flagurantly accepting testimony he knows to be purgered.  This ‘Witness number forty” is some lady who has been “off her meds” with major psychological issues.  I’d heard previously that “Witness number forty” was a hardened racists.  She openly refers to Negroes as “Apes”.  She is the lone testimony who supported officer Darren Wilson’s account of events.  They let her testify for two whole days.  They even called her back because they wanted more.  And yet the FBI has investigated her.  They can prove that this Mac Elroy woman lied over a hundred times in the course of her testimony.  Not only is she a racist and a mental case, she was not even THERE in Ferguson the day of the shooting.  Now they claim she was whisked to the site and then whisked away just as quickly so that there is absolutely no memory of her being there.  She is the one who said that Michael Brown “charged- - like a football player”.  Sean Hannity on his TV show has quoted this woman no less than 21 times.  She is the lone witness to support Officer Wilson’s view of events.  Why – she even kept a journal writing everything down scrupulously, and offered her journal in as “evidence”.   Far from questioning her in a confrontative manner, several grand juror members said “We believe you.  We know that you are telling the truth”.  Unless I’m mistaken- - this verges on “forming a decision of the evidence” before deliberation time, which every judge admonishes juries not to do every time a court is in recess.  The woman’s name is Mac Elroy.  I can understand why she would not be charged with purgery if she’s having mental problems.  But I think this Mc Culloch guy who heads the team should be charged with “suborning” purgery.   But once again it looks like the Justice Department will do absolutely nothing.  I’ve heard they’re ready to give this whole Ferguson thing “a pass”.  But Sean Hannity won’t.  He wants to bring charges of purgery apparently on EVERY OTHER witness whose testimony does not comport with Mac Ellroy’s and Officer Wilson.  Sean Hannity in my mind has severe emotional problems, which drive him to spread so many falsehoods on the air every night, and think that he’s doing the Lord’s work, or something.

There are two highly disturbing police stories out just today.  The one is where New York Mayor De Blazio went to visit the hospital or something or pay his respects to the two fallen officers, and the NYPD men in blue turned their backs on him in protest.  We have heard charges by Giuliani of saying “President Obama and Eric Holder are to blame for this shooting”.  But of course this Black man had a violent history and killed his girlfriend and bragged he was going to put “Wings on Pigs” the man was in fact mentally unstable.  So how are Eric Holder and the President responsible.  There are charges of “Four months of anti cop rhetoric”.  Apparently there was a metting between President Obama and Mayor De Blazio and De Blazio had an African American wife and he had a son named Danien and the President said “He looks a lot like I looked like at that age”.  The Mayor has to warn his son how to act around the police because he’s “walking while Black”.  So now are we to say that the President and the NY Mayor should be indicted for speaking the Truth- - in a private conversation yet?   Tell me where there was ever “four months of anti police rhetoric” coming from President Obama.  Now we hear that the NYPD will be going on a “War footing” when Thom Hartman points out that when conservative nut jobs threaten police- - the police don’t go on a “War footing”.   If you want to be just a little cynical you might say that Mayor De Blasio is being attacked by the NYPD because he has an African American wife or in short because he’s just another N word lover.  Now we have FOX news editing in calls for dead policemen- - in with Al Sharpton’s speech, which I listened to, where he emphatically stressed that he was not against all police.  But this caller who says ‘I don’t listen to FOX news’ called IMMEDIATELY after FOX news ran this bogus story this morning, so if nothing else, it’s guilt by association.  All the while nobody at FOX news or anywhere else, has wondered aloud how this guy ever GOT a gun to begin with since he was mentally unstable.  No one at FOX questions that or how lives could have been saved, and tightening gun regulations might be the best police protection thing going.

I told you that I had my new Cal-Optima card from last Friday.  I took that card and showed it to the office and Mary Jane and Sarah photocopied the thing to get it off to the pharmacy so that my medication will be covered for the month of December.  This is one of the big things that had been hanging over my head and it’s nice to have it taken care of.   I had two cups of coffee in the courtyard from Yadera.  I haven’t seen the dog around in a while.

You’ve heard about the “tyranny of the majority” but how about the tyranny of Uncertainty.  That’s a state when a lot of prominent people around you like relatives and things are far right.  You’d like not to be political, but what if they bring it up.  After all today is Monday December 22^nd.  It’s just three days from Christmas.  One would think at some point along the way you could take a vacation from politics.  And I must confess it’s the left, rather than the right wing that won’t let it go today.  You learn new things you somehow wish you didn’t know.  They increase the certainty that you’ve been right all along, but you’d rather not be right “all the time” because of a certain dread about the future of America that entails.  Of course they take words out of context.  For instance all of this “Hope and change” rhetoric we heard from Obama in 2008 was a lot of theatrics signifying nothing.  They say that when the President campaigned on the slogan of “fundamentally changing America” he was serious and has never given up on his Islamo-fascist socialist goals or whatever.  So when he announces something like a thawing of relations between the United States and Cuba, it’s automatically a done deal because after all the president is a dictator, and he’s just been “waiting for this moment” to “put his plan into action”.  Judy even mentioned the “Dreams from my Father” book, as if President Obama had been in constant contact with his “anti colonialist” father all this time and was somehow taking his marching orders from this “Dream”.   How do you even mention that it’s the Republicans that scored a whopping tea party victory last November?  You’re dealing with a person apparently unfamiliar with basic political facts.  You try and slough it off or change the subject, but aren’t always successful.  By the way this computer has crashed twice in the last hour and a half so we may be living on borrowed time.  But I remembered that Nazi analogy Hartman talked about and the gradualism of repressive measures.  Each one was only a “little worse than what was the case already”.   Logically as the repression worsens one would expect that uncertainty of “where this is all going” would lift like the early morning fog and you’d see the issue clearly.  But this doesn’t happen.  Suddenly it’s the mad men at FOX studios who have become the “standard” by which you measure your own credibility.  Trying to say what you actually think is a near impossability becaae they’ll let you do ANYTHING but that.  If you get to speak at all it’s only so your words can be mangled and distorted.  (Selah)

“We Need To Get Reasonable Assurances That [the Victim] Will Remain In Isolation And Incommunicado For The Remainder Of His Life”

The Senate Torture Report should be read by every American, at least the condensed 450 page version.  I look forward to obtaining a copy of it soon.  As this article says, one reason why you don't see torture victims on TV is that the CIA is not so dumb as to allow these witnesses to ever see the light of day.  So just as the Ferguson jury "gave reasonable assurance" that witness forty would never be charged with purgery, so the torturers got assurance that their foul deeds would never truly see the light of day.  Here are notes:

The interrogation team closed the [CIA] cable by stating:

“regardless of which [disposition] option we follow, however, and especially in light of the planned psychological pressure techniques to be implemented,we need to get reasonable assurances that [Abu Zubaydah] will remain in isolation and incommunicado for the remainder of his life.”

(The report makes clear that the cable was sent well before the torture commenced. They were seeking advanced “assurances” that the torture and “psychological pressures techniques” – more below – would never be revealed to anyone, so that they would not be prosecuted for war crimes.)

Another section of the Senate Torture Report notes:

One interrogator told another detainee that he would never go to court, because “we can never let the world know what I have done to you.”

It Looks Like Doom and Gloom for Christmas This Year

Let's start out on a mystic and perhaps spiritual note.  One saying of Jeshua as reported by Judas Thomas is that "When a man explores and finds a dead carcus and proclaims "This is the World" behold this man is not far from the Kingdom of God".    Behold I went to the Master and said "I have heard it said that if you honor Christmas gifts above the Christmas Story, then you don't know the true meaning of Christmas.  The Master said to me "On the contrary, varily I say to you that it is better to live with a Blessing of limited duration, but is real, than a gift of unlimited duration- - but is completely unreal.  For the thing that is temporary but real can be Replemished.  But when the man embraces a pure myth- - and ends up in a world of frustrating delusion, who then shall restore his sanity and his peace?  When a man eats a Lion, the lion flesh becomes living human flesh.  So too when a man dies for God and God eats him, what a man once was he is no longer but now has partaken in the Divine nature.  (Selah)  Behold, if you are truly Rich, than embrace and savor that wealth.  Don't give away something so valuable for nothing.  Don't listen to a man who says "Become poor for my sake and I will reward you".  And indeed you will get your reward.  For he who embraces False Religion becomes the poorer for it and cannot become rich again, for what he had that made him Rich, he foolishly gave away.  Some may say that living consciously in the "Realm of Pure Causality" is an impossability to achieve.  Some say it's because in order to BE in such a state you must first be Dead.  But alas the Dead know nothing - - because they are Dead.  Others will tell you that such a Pure State of Being is a realm for God alone- - that no mortal man may know.  Still others say that "If you were to enter such a state of Pure Causality it would be overwhelming because you would be purely Aware of every single situation and every Problem in the Whole World.  But I say unto you that Pure Causality is the metaphysical result of Backward Time.  He who becomes his other self (some would say Super Selves) knows that what has gone before is yet to come, and that which is yet to come has already Been.  And having thus already Been he may know it and learn from it.  And such a man would indeed be counted as among the Wisest Men in the eyes of his Onlooking Piers.  

You have heard it said "When the Perfect comes the Imperfect will pass away".  But I say unto you that if one is seen as Perfect, pray for the day when the Lord Vishnu will find Imperfection in you.  Adam thought he was perfect till his wife Eve found "a more perfect way", which is to say Impercection was found in Adam, and the awareness of this caused him to eat the fruit of the knowledge of good and Evil.  But the Lord Vishnu knew that "he" who first saw imperfection in her lord Adam, was already superior to him. To be Born Again is to find himself in a vast tunnel outside the Gate where one has at least a chance to look up and rise to greet the Light which is Above.  He who leads the Parade, which is the tea party, in truth will never be seen again, for he has already Been.  That which is Perfect is Pre Ordained.  Therefore one cannot take credit for it.  Count it a Blessing when Imperfection is found in you.  For he who once regarded you as Perfect is by definition, now your spiritual Subordenate.  (Selah)

I was just wondering when the United States would enter a new so called “Golden Era” like the fifties and sixties were.  It was only about 1978 that the reactionary forces got a foothold, and at the time I thought that was a good idea.  I now know better.  The convention center speech of September 8^th, 1977 was as it were the warning shot fired across the bow of the ship.  From that evening on my attitude tword the church began changing, and it in turn began to change tword me.   The saying is true that “If you knew the end of it before you started the journey, you would never care to even venture down that road”.   So when will the next Golden Era for this country come?  We have the potential for it now.  We have the computer technology, and even the potential alternative energy technology.  We have miracle medical technology with new breakthroughs coming every day.  But as long as the unemployment is predicted to be sky high “for the foreseeable future” then by that reasoning – I don’t see hope for the foreseeable future because politicians will never tire of blaming the sluggish economy on the democrats.  Last night’s talk with Judy only confirmed the fact that Judy hasn’t changed from her- - “2016” movie vision of President Obama.  There is the firm belief that the president wants to “overwhelm the economic system” and crash the economy and from there the President hopes for some kind of a socialist or Islamic revolution (she’s not sure which) to come up and take over the country, and all of this is part of the President’s grand strategy he’s had since he was a teenager.  (Selah)

Yesterday afternoon I was reading about the Christmas movie- - we saw in September at Paul and Judy’s written up in “Skeletons from the Closet”.   When you think about it, not to rain on Judy’s parade, Christmas is like receiving a brand new Cadillac fully loaded, and you drive it off the lot and are overjoyed.  The next morning you wake up and you receive the bill in the mail and someone on the phone tells you you signed the contract for a steep payments schedule you have no memory at all doing.  This is how it is for the Jews at Christmas.  All of this “hope and change” discussed with the “Redeemer of Israel” stuff you were told about- - is suddenly not apparent and- - when disabused of the notion that it was a “free gift” that Cadillac has suddenly become a burdensome stone around your neck.  All of us would love to be assured of a happy after-life and we are “once and for all” forgiven of our sins.  Judy in her phone call said that ‘Jesus was born to die” and generalizing it says “We were all born to die”.  I was saying I was having trouble staying in the Christmas spirit- - perhaps because the mundane of social security and such was creeping in on me.  It wasn’t truly like “being off for two weeks”.   Judy called to invite me to go to Mom’s after she tells Paul and Paul arranged it with Mom.  Judy called me back to say the trip was off because Mom didn’t feel like seeing guests.  But of course just to pass the time she went into this spiel about how President Obama is trying to “break the system” by loading us with all the money we’ll be paying to Cuba to rescue that nation’s fallen economy, and we’ll be helping out all these illegal immigrants.   Judy knows how to think in doom and gloom terms.  I told her I found it annoying that “President Obama’s been having a good week, or a good month or whatever.  He must be taking anti depressant medication”.   Judy could have used something herself.  She is not one bit encouraged by the Republican’s land-slide victory in November. Judy laments “Most of the republicans in congress are moderates who will make any kind of deal with Obama” and referred to the recent omnibus bill.  I tried to encourage her as best I could that- - “Well they all look pretty conservative to me and I’m told that the President is in a mood not to argue with anything they come up with”.   But when someone like Judy gets on one of these downer “bents” it’s kind of hard to convince her otherwise.  The ABC college football game was going on this whole time.  There were actually NFL games played Saturday.

 I watched the Mc Laughlin group today.  I didn’t foresee this being any kind of enlightening program, and I was proven right.  It was the same re-hash.  Rand Paul and Marco Rubio are going at it in terms of this recognition of Cuba deal is concerned.  Apparently we’ll be opening up an embassy there very soon.  But it was predicted that the President would not be going to Cuba in the period of his administration because it would be just too inflammatory.  Of course Judy failed to even consider that we might elect a Republican in two years as President, and if that happens, hypothetically all Judy’s cares and concerns would go by the way side.  I can’t picture a Republican winning in 2016 but I could not even predict the stomping the Democrats got this year.  Clearly the voters are swayed by things that most people wouldn’t consider important- - such as this vaunted “Ebola crisis”.   It was Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune.  I gave Glen four cigarettes of the menthol variety in his room for generous instant coffee, promising him four more non menthol today.

I watched the morning news and there were two NYPD police officers gunned down at a lunch counter by this Black guy who then took his own life.  The conservatives’ first impulse is to get mad- not at the shooter- - but rather for Mayor De Blazio and Eric Holder.   I wonder if they’re going to make a “poisoning the well” metaphor.  I think this tendency to fan the flames and blame people who aren’t really to blame - - is a whole part of our problem today.  I sat in the front room briefly.  I spoke to Larry Cramer about de-fragging the hard drive, and how I thought my computer yesterday was just spreading the red lines around rather than eliminating them, and perhaps I was making it worse.  How could I only have accomplished 3% of the de-fragging?  I went to the liquor store and got a large $1.25 coffee and took it first to the room, and then down to the dining room with me.  I explained that I had a headache and I hoped the coffee would ease that, and it did.  We had Cheerios followed in due time by a fried egg, and toast and butter.

Right now they are doing “Jingle Bells” by Frank Sinatra.  Before that it was “I want a Beatle for Christmas” by Anette Funacello, I believe.  It’s actually “Becky Lee Beck”.  They also played the song by that British woman ‘All I Want Is A Beatle for Christmas”.  There was some fragment of a Beatles at the BBC involving Christmas jocularity.  Now they are doing “Sleigh Ride” to a Lady Madona template.  They also played “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire” done in the style of “Here, There and Everywhere”.  They played an altered rhythm version of “Wonderful Christmas Time” by Paul Mc Cartney sounding like a Phil Specter Christmas song.  They played “Happy Christmas” by John and Yoco”. And “Ring out the old – ring in the New” by George Harrison, with Ringo on drums.  They also played “Little Drummer Boy” done by Ringo in the style of “Back Off, Boogaloo”.  They played the Beatles Christmas messages from 1963, 1964 and 1965.   Now I’m informed I missed Beatles 1966 because they’ve been whipping them out so quickly today.  We are informed that 1964 message was the only one released at 45 rpm.  All the others were released at thirty-three, which explains why it’s the shortest.  And 1964 and 1963 were actually recorded in October!  They played “I Want to be Santa Clause” by Ringo, and a strange version of “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer”.   We had pizza for lunch with the increasingly frequent green salad.  We had tomato soup and honeydew for desert.  They were playing a Christmas song by “Slade” on KLOS on Joe’s radio, with “early warning” of the Christmas 1969 Christmas message, staring right - - NOW!  Lots of John and Yoco interplay.  That’s what makes it so priceless.  Of course George was almost cut out of the production entirely.  Mal Evans has often cited to me the ending where you get the “Dark Side of the Moon” thing followed by “Born in the King of Israel” where if you are not a ZAC member you may find that blasphemous.  It would be nice to have hope for Christmas rather than the steady diet of doom and gloom, choked by the mundane of Social Security complications.  I’m going to call them Monday morning and ask what the hell is going on - - if anything or whether it’s just Federico and Yadera being a couple of alarmists.  Now they are finishing with the traditional version of “Wonderful Christmas Time” by Paul, not Stanley.  Actually it’s not quite the same old song - - with or without copyright violations. 

What I'm Doing Right Now

Bernie Sanders today said one aspect of Dodd Frank has borne fruit that he inserted into the bill himself.  Sanders demanded that the Federal Reserve be audited, and personally, I think that would be a very good idea.  The Federal Reserve has never been audited in one hundred years so I’d say it’s about time.  But the information from the crash of 2008 was brought to light.  Now it’s disclosed that the Federal Reserve pumped in sixteen trillion dollars into the economy of the very rich.  So take that ten thousand dollar figure I mentioned before and quintuple it.  That would mean fifty thousand dollars for each and every American, whether they are working or not, man, woman and child.  Imagine the extreme good that could have been accomplished.  There of course would be a point where inflation would be in danger of kicking in, but I submit that demand pull inflation is a long way off from where we are now.  To achieve that point we would have to take all of the slack out of the economy, which could be likened to string connecting kiddy cars.  Once all of the string is taught- then you have inflation.  There is also news that every penny of the Auto bail out has been “paid back to taxpayers”.  I thought that had been done years ago, but at least I know it’s been done now.  President Obama claimed he’s cut the deficit to one third of what it was when he entered office.  I’d say it’s no more than forty percent of what it was when President Obama assumed office, give or take a few buffer months to let his policies take effect.  The President also claimed today in his news conference that better jobs are opening up, which pay better wages.  This has been part of the problem before.   Texas is still a state where I hear that the lowest of the low paying jobs are the only ones available.

I guess we told you that alcoholism strips mylon from the neurons, and so this is why alcoholics are missing whole portions of their lives.  It’s literally true that “Some drink to forget”.  Their system is poisoned.  But with Alzheimers - - the cause of memory loss is different and in this case the brain cells are alive and intact.  So you can run the computer equivalent version of Spin Rite to recover the lost information from the hard drive.   The day this breakthrough is announced a lot of grieving relatives will become positively ecstatic.

I was sitting in the front room last night after six and admiring the Christmas lights.  This morning I went to the store just before seven and got a dollar coffee from that lady.  That was my last dollar.  We had corn flakes for breakfast followed in the course of time by toast and butter, a fried egg, and hashed browns.  I got a second hashed brown from Dora who came along before I’d started eating almost.  Then I got an entire plate including a fried egg, toast and butter, and a third hashed brown.  We were there eating after eight o clock when most of the room had cleared out.  I wished I’d known I didn’t have to worry.   A different dentist lady called me on the phone out front- - - and we made an appointment for my final crown on Wednesday January 7^th and I cleared it with Yadera and Federico on the spot.  I went for ten o clock coffee break in the courtyard and had two cups.  At some point I had Bernie Sanders on, again on tape delay.  I tried to call Mom using the new calling card numbers from [name withheld].  They didn’t work.  I double checked them with the E mail but they still didn’t work.  In the course of time I dug up the old calling card numbers and called and got through.  I had only eight minutes left, but it didn’t matter because Mom wasn’t there.  I called back a half hour later and again got the system answering service, and she still wasn’t there.  We had chili cheese fries for lunch, and a green salad, and more mushroom soup.  We had cantaloupe for desert.  

I decided to watch the President’s press conference I had missed earlier- - on tape delay from C-Span.  Every reporter the President called on today was a woman.  The President believes that Sony Pictures’ capitulation to NC terrorism was a mistake, and I have to agree with him that it was.  Now the latest word is that Sony will endeavor to get some version of "The Interview" out there.  He again repeated that our “response” would take on some sort of devious “covert” manifestation.  Personally I blame the Federation for the whole thing.  If they had stood by Sony Studios the way they implied they would, we couldn’t be having this conversation today. But though terrorist’s demands were met there is still some fear of a “Christmas surprise” and Sony Studios are still so afraid that they are cancelling their daily tours.   In the course of the press conference Mom returned my call.  The bad news is here is that after bringing up about every other topic I could think of (discussed here) I finally got around to mentioning money for Christmas.  At first she seemed open to the idea, but then suddenly remembered that you know who had left her with very little control of her own money and she said “Actually I don’t have any cash and might not be able to get it”.  She then added “Besides you don’t need any money, anyhow”.   I am in desperate need of money constantly.  I mentioned that neurological or memory or whatever test she was to have on December 15^th and she said “Actually that test has been put off till January”.  She mentioned some duties (roles) she still has at her place.   I seems in good physical health just talking with her.  I reminded her she needn’t worry about the one upcoming dental appointment next month because “You’ve already paid for it”.

On the soap opera, Kim thinks Shane is almost recovered and Eve had convinced Page that Shane is at death’s door.  Now Eve is telling Kim “On Christmas dinner let’s just avoid the whole topic entirely because Page finds it upsetting”.  Kin says, “I don’t see why - - Shane is going to be fine”.   Daniel Jonas kind of gave Nicole the kiss off.  First it’s like ten minutes before they’re due to have dinner, and Daniel makes it clear to Nicole that he’d like her to split before the guests arrive.  Nicole asks about their upcoming date and Daniel says “Well you know the holidays are really busy so we should put that off till at least early next year.  Besides I want to “ask Jennifer” (so to speak) if she’ll “give me permission to date you” as if Jennifer is EVER going to say anything nice about Nicole.  Nicole got the royal screwing.  But the silver lining is that she can ransack Samantha Mason’s apartment while she knows she’ll be gone for hours.  Because we know that Samantha is keeping some sort of secret- - - and perhaps “playing” Eric and if Nicole exposes the whole (as yet unknown) plot she could still wind up the Hero.  Mean-while back on the farm - - - relations between Sonny and Will aren’t one bit better today.

I tuned in Norman Goldman on Media Player but very shortly into the program after the start, the sound began snagging, and it was doing it repeatedly like a malfunctioning CD.  I turned it off and switched on the TV and watched the second half of “Millionaire” and then all of “Jeopardy”.  We had enchiladas for dinner with refried beans and a green salad.  I crossed the room to the cart where Glen and others were congregating and got a third enchilada.  We had two oatmeal cookies for desert.  I had a smoke but soon was called down to get the mail, which is an almost an alarmingly frequent occurance.  I got the official notice of the Social Security increase by fifteen dollars.  There was also a Cal Optima official card.  Mom was saying “Wait till you get an official card from somebody”.   Now I have that.  There was a hand written Christmas card which somewhat intrigued me.  I did not recognize the name.  But what was inside astounded me.  Two ten dollar bills fell out.  I looked at them.  They looked real.  I was suddenly twenty dollars richer.  There would not be the repeat of the “starvation week” that I experienced last year.  I went out and bought one pack of John Blacks.  I was in no frame of mind to go hog wild.  In fact it is my fervent prayer that I get over even needing to smoke cigarettes.  I went to the bakery and got a dollar fifty coffee cup and was only charged $1.25.  This was my lucky day.  Of course this computer has crashed twice this afternoon and that’s never a good sign.  This computer may have only a matter of days, and as soon as I’m finished with this file I should back up, as well as any needed update on a previous file.  Drinking coffee, it suddenly seems warm in here.   I got my medication from Donnie on the east hall and got an egg sandwich.  Then I had a conversation with Bruce about quarks, which was somewhat educational.  There is now a Kim Jung Un video game that will go ahead with production.  The developers of the video game even intend to add a new level, taking place on the Sony Pictures studio lot.  I wish them God’s speed.  In terms of my spending, I plan to go to Glen for future evening cups of coffee.  And I won’t be buying pastry snacks.  I want this money to last.  For one thing I don’t know for sure whether this money will have to last longer than I think, if Mom doesn’t come through with any money.